idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
