everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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