Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
