He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
