Who did Billy Mays play for?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
