she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
a search helicopter?!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
