I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
