Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i love accidental penises.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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