doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
