i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
