I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
honey bunches of taint.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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