We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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