I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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