check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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