You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
