And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
