Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
