batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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