Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
