Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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