Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Randomize
