So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
