Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is my gift to your gina
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize