Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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