bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
