me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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