The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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