Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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