is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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