Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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