U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
