I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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