Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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