i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
