i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
