Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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