so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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