Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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