it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think people are normalizing furries
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
