I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
