Yo dont text me then not text me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
