i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
