i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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