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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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