grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
