Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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