real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
