Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
