If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
