If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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