you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
